


Three Large Warlords and One Tiny Princess

by KuuraKaihomieli, Mazen



Category: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018), She-Ra: Princess Of Power (1985)
Genre: Beast Island rescue, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Hordak-verse, Hordaks come to save the day, Marshmallows, Multiverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 17:48:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30059238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuuraKaihomieli/pseuds/KuuraKaihomieli, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mazen/pseuds/Mazen
Summary: Hordak goes to Beast Island to rescue Entrapta. But which Hordak is it?Special guest star: KuuraKaihomieli's Shakespearean Hordak
Relationships: Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra), Hordak & Hordak & Hordak, Hordak & Imp (She-Ra), Imp & Imp
Comments: 19
Kudos: 29





	Three Large Warlords and One Tiny Princess

**Author's Note:**

> This started when KuuraKaihomieli mentioned that Hordak from the 2002 He-Man animated series had extended claws that would be perfect for roasting marshmallows and it escalated from there. Pure crack, but mostly treated seriously.
> 
> [KuuraKaihomieli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuuraKaihomieli/pseuds/KuuraKaihomieli) has been kind enough to offer her Hordak's eloquence to help the youngest Hordak express his feelings.

Entrapta was roasting yet another tiny, questionable looking insect when she heard something large approach. Within a second her hair had pulled her into the tree above her campfire and she hid between the dense leaves. She let her fire burn, knowing that most of the beasts on the island feared fire. Besides, none of them were intelligent enough to connect a campfire to the delicious prey that she seemed to be on Beast Island; she might lose her own dinner though.

What emerged among the black trees, illuminated by neon lights, was not an animal like those she’d seen until now. It was walking on two legs, wearing a large and shredded red cape and intricate armored boots with skulls as knee protectors. She could only see the person’s head which was green and bald, except for a hard crest and tiny spikes covering the scalp. Its eyebrows were sharp and appeared to strangely be attached to the broad ears on each side of the head. The comical size of the cape’s collar reminded her of Hordak’s old armor.

But there was no time for amusement. The humanoid creature lifted its head from the campfire and stared straight up at her position in the tree, its red eyes revealing that it knew she was there. A sinister smile of giant, sharp teeth bared. “Come out, little Princess, I know you’re there.”

This was an actual intelligent being and it was after her. Tendrils of her purple hair were already reaching for the branches of the next tree to escape, but she wasn’t allowed to flee. A magical force began to pull her from the crown of the tree she was hiding in, dragging her unwillingly down to meet the being.

In moments she stood before the towering male with her hair ready for the inevitable fight. But he only laughed at her, his voice a dark and powerful baritone, brimming with confidence. “I’m here to help you, Princess. There’s no need to fear me, Entrapta.”

At the sound of her name, she lifted her eyes and looked up at the man who was still smiling with that intimidating mouth full of sharp teeth. She did not know this person, although he obviously knew her. However, his red eyes were somewhat familiar and held an odd fondness that made her feel safe. “Ah, I never had an Entrapta myself. What a beauty you are.”

“How do you know me?” She finally found her voice. There was no longer room for any fear, only curiosity and plenty of that. “You’re not from Etheria-” She looked him over and at last noticed the emblem on his chest which made her gasp. “You’re from the Intergalactic Horde!”

The Horde soldier - or General at the very least - chuckled. “I am. In fact I’m Hordak from another reality.” He laughed again as he saw her eyes widen with excitement.

“You’re from another dimension?!” Entrapta squealed and did a double salto while clapping her hands. Then she focused and began to circle the warlord who’d traveled through dimensions. “Did you get here through the interdimensional portal we made with the sword of She-Ra? Because I thought it was a failure, but I supposed something could’ve slipped through, although we weren’t intending to reach a whole other reality, just the universe MY Hordak came from. But I guess that it is entirely possible that we happened to open the portal through another reality and it would definitely be able to suck in whatever was in its way. But you seem to have magic by the way you pulled me from the tree which would make you capab-”

Large dark grey hands gently took hold of her shoulders to keep her in place. The massive body kneeled before her, so they were the same height. “I’m going to stop you right there, Princess. You clearly possess intelligence that may very well rival my own, but I did not arrive here through your cute, little portal.” Entrapta’s expression soured as he called her portal ‘cute’. “I opened the portal from my own Despondos to yours with the dark magic I wield which is unlike any other. It was also what allowed me to hear this reality’s Hordak as I searched for an escape from the barren Despondos where I am trapped.”

“How are you trapped there, but able to travel here? Oh, that means you can jump through shadow-dimensions, but not out of them! That was actually what my Hordak struggled to do when I met him and we did succeed in making a portal to cross past the shadow-dimensions, but it also destroyed reality which kind of defeated the point because if we didn’t exist-”

“Yes yes, I understand.” The other Hordak interrupted her _again_ , waving her off. It made her miss her own Hordak even more. He had at least pretended to listen to her. “It was impressive how you managed to make the portal, even with its flaws. But that isn’t why I’m here. I came because I heard the call of my doppelgänger and found it within my power to assist him. I cannot interfere with any events that will change his final fate, but it is possible to make it all a little better for him. And certainly for you as well, my Princess. You are truly exceptional.” He looked at her meaningfully and she blushed slightly. She’d seen her own Hordak look at her like that and she’d liked it. But it had been a ruse, right?

“What are you going to change? I mean, I could definitely make better robots for the Horde now that I’m not working on the portal, but Hordak dumped me here. I don’t think my company is very appreciated there…” She lowered her head, already feeling the vines snake up her legs.

“Stop that!” The warlord shouted into the air, sending a wave of magic blasting through the forest. The vines around her ankles dropped away. A long-clawed finger reached under her chin and lifted her head to face him. “You are the very reason I’m here. Your Hordak did not send you away. He was betrayed by the one you call Catra as you were too. The call I heard through dimensions was his yearning for _you_.”

“For me?” She sniffled. Hope lifted in her, but quickly withered inside her. “Then why hasn’t he come for me?”

“He was told that you betrayed him and the fool believed it because he thinks he’s unworthy of you.” The other Hordak shook his head with disappointment. “It is regretful that a Princess such as you got an insecure one. But alas I am here to reunite you with him.” He rose from his position in front of her and mumbled to himself. “Hopefully that means no more of his terrible love songs booming through dimensions.”

“Do you have an aircraft or a boat that can pass the reef around the island? It’s the only way to leave the island.” Entrapta rose on a seat of her hair to reach his height, a move that seemed to surprise him.

“Well, I do wield more magic than any other in your reality,” the Hordak shrugged, “but I have a boat of sorts as well. He’s… occupied at the moment, but should be here shortly.”

“He? Oh, you name your creations too?” Entrapta was beyond excited.

“Not exactly…” He grumbled.

* * *

_In the Fright Zone..._

Hordak gazed into the unfathomable purple depths of the crystal, the facets refracting and multiplying his despondency. Unconnected from the slot in his exoskeleton, an impenetrable darkness sat within its very center. Akin to the grim reaches of his own, woebegone heart as it shuddered within his ailing chest, pierced by the myriad, keen daggers of her betrayal from every angle, those besmirched blades dipped in the poison of unrequited love…

He rotated the crystal between thumb and forefinger. “Lo, these sharp points, fourfold, how you rend my very soul apart with your cruel, rancorous acuteness! Alas, this destiny to which the wyrds have sentenced me, thus delivering me unto the claws of treachery! How the fates ne’er commiserate this tormented, rejected wight, ne’er heeding to the lamentations of mine, but seeking to strike me with ill omens and misfortunes anew and anew!”

The damp, chilly gloom of the Sanctum felt like the ruin of an ancient sepulchre around him; a deathly, impenetrable stillness wherein the bones of the portal machine were gradually being hewn to dust by the merciless heel of ponderously passing days.

“Ah, Entapta, my dearest love, howe’er gelid the touch of thy soft hand upon my skin! The unsparing sweetness of thy pulchritudinous countenance, thy nectarous mouth spewing forth venom disguised as dulcet praises! Whene’er were my imperfections verily beautiful to thee? Oh, those gossamer, cascading tresses limning thy voluptuous form, thy sybaritic bosom heaving with mirth, the tintinnabulation of thy laughter now so virulent, so discordant in the ears of mine! Wherefore this perfidy, o my beloved Princess? Wherefore indeed?”

He extended his arm before him, the heart-wrenching crystal splaid in the very center of his trembling palm. Utmost despair twisted his visage into an anguished snarl as he wailed, “To entrap or not to entrap? Oh my precious love! Here I shall wither, in this dour grave of mine, abandoned and condemned into this infelicitous solitude forevermore, whilst the midnight of my dreary soul shall but spread and consume all motes of joy so transient and fickle! Peradventure in a thousand years, my ashes of yesteryear shall be found by some hapless explorer! This heart, petrified by thy callousness, nestled within the shadows of a crumbling ribcage, shall be uplifted--to quethe the raven's words--nevermore!”

Hordak sighed and let his head hang low, quietly slipping the crystal back into its slot. No matter how much he reveled in his heartache, it wouldn’t bring Entrapta back to him. She’d left him with good reason, but it didn’t make the pain inside him any less.

“Are you quite done?” An unfamiliar, croaky voice followed by a snort made him jump from his seat, ready to fight. He hissed when he found the person who’d entered his most sacred of places. It was a stocky old man with a white face, red eyes and otherwise blue skin covering strong muscles; in a way much like his own visage, yet not at all. He was wearing short furry shorts in black and a bone-collared tank top with the Horde emblem on his chest.

Was this a joke?

“I do not know what you are or why you dare to wear the symbol of the Great Horde Prime’s empire, but get out now or I will destroy you, old man!” Hordak didn’t have a weapon at hand, but his claws were efficient enough.

“Easy, easy, young one. I’m here to help.” Another snort came out of the overly large mouth, although it seemed to stem from the back of the throat. Hordak was suddenly glad that he and his brethren never lived long enough to grow old.

“IMP! Where is that little creature and why hasn’t he alerted me of this intruder?” Hordak spoke to himself and ignored the old man who seemed fairly harmless. “Get in here, you little hobgoblin!”

“He’s busy with my Imp. I do hope they make friends. Mine isn’t very good with people. Or living things.” The intruder casually came closer to Hordak who snarled in response. He did not have time for this nonsense. Even pining for Entrapta had more use than this.

“I don’t know who you are, nor do I care. Leave my sanctum now or you will be destroy-” He was interrupted by an awful banging noise coming from the air docks, not unlike the sound of Entrapta wobbling through them, except this noise was followed by screeches and squeals. Out of a vent dropped Imp along with a blue pig-nosed little cretin with wings, both of them scratching and biting at each other.

“Stop that at once, you little devil!” The old man yelled. The pig-nosed creature let go of Imp who tried to claw at it, but jumped back as soon as he saw it change form in a cloud of smoke. Suddenly Imp stood face to face with a complete replica of himself, except that the imitation was the same bright blue color as before, much unlike Imp’s own ash blue skin. He shrieked loudly and flew up to sit on Hordak’s shoulder. >> _Little devil!_ << he spoke with the old man’s voice. The copy of Imp flew up next to the intruder.

Hordak had simply had enough of this charade. He closed the distance between the two intruders in a few long strides. “I demand you explain yourself immediately or I will rip out your throat with my bare claws!” This display of his anger would’ve made any Etherian run for their life, but this person just laughed which was really just more of his obnoxious snorting.

“I’ve been trying to tell you from the moment I stepped in on your little monologue, you poor fool! And I heard that you were supposed to be clever. Ha! I am Hordak from the Evil Horde. You from another reality.” Hordak lifted an eyebrow in hesitation. How the Shadows could he look like that in another dimension? But it was hard to doubt the other man. After all, there could be countless dimensions out there, some even similar to his own. “Anyway I’m here to take you to Entrapta.”

At the mention of her name from that weird little version of him, Hordak turned livid. “How dare you say that name here?! She’s a traitor and is where she belongs: with the other princesses. I will not-”

“She is on Beast Island and Catra sent her there.” The other Hordak spurted out and the fake Imp, now back to looking frighteningly a lot like a pig with wings, sniggered. He shot his own Imp a look of disbelief, but the poor fellow was utterly speechless. For once. “You really shouldn’t trust literal cats, buddy.”

“And I should trust _you_ why?” He was already panicking inside by the thought that he might’ve misplaced his trust. Why did he listen to Catra? Entrapta had given him every sign that she liked working with him.

“Well, that’s up to you. But another Hordak is on his way to Beast Island right now to save her. He’s tall, dark and handsome if you want to know. I guess Entrapta can go with him if you don’t come.”

Jealousy mixed with fear that this inferior Hordak was in fact not lying, Hordak grabbed the other’s bony collar. “I will save her! If I have to burn down Beast Island to find her, that’s what I’ll do.” He shook the shorter man who managed to wedge his arm between them and fire a shot from his arm cannon directly into Hordak’s chest. It was a weak cannon, but the blast did make him let go of the other Hordak and stagger backwards.

“Now, behave. We can all go to Beast Island. Come on, let’s go.” The old Hordak walked out of the sanctum with his Imp flying after him. His own Imp repeated an old recording that Hordak had heard many times before: >> _Entrapta!_ << This time Imp wasn’t teasing him, but daring him to follow the unlikely version of himself. And he did.

It was easy to catch up with that Hordak since his legs were much shorter than Hordak's own. “And just how many realities are there?” He asked, eyeing the short furry shorts. What a horrible choice of clothes. What in Shadows had gone wrong in that dimension?

“Oh, millions! But only three where we Hordaks survive the portal opening to Despondos. Count yourself lucky.” The other Hordak patted him on the back which made him cringe. This was going to be a long trip to Beast Island.

* * *

  
_On Beast Island…_

“So you’re telling me that Adora has a brother named Adam who is He-Man?” The exasperated warlord across from her sighed and nodded. Entrapta was well aware that he was bored, but she found all this new information fascinating. “Who came up with that name? Talk about toxic masculinity, am I right? Hahahah!”

“I cannot fathom how he could be this late!” The grumpier Hordak threw his hands into the air. “Even without magic he should’ve been here by now. If he doesn’t show up with this reality’s Hordak soon, I will just annihilate this planet and bring you back to my reality!”

Entrapta’s eyes lit up in excitement. It wasn’t that she wanted him to ruin her home and she really wanted to have her own Hordak back now that she understood what had happened, but seeing another dimension sounded... so cool! This Hordak was quite a hoot too with his overdramatic gesturing and rantings that surpassed her own spacebat’s.

She was about to ask him what traveling to his dimension entailed when a muscular red-eyed man came tumbling through some trees. This one reminded her much more of Hordak than the other one, although he looked quite old and was shorter than Scorpia. He also resembled a fish more than a bat, like the other Hordak. As he rose from where he’d landed, a loud snort from him echoed through the trees. Then she noticed his tiny shorts… Was that fur?

A pig-like animal with wings followed behind him, giggling menacingly. It was obviously the third Hordak’s Imp and it certainly didn’t look as cuddly as her Imp. “Where is the other Hordak? You were supposed to bring him!” The angry, greenish Hordak growled at the newly arrived one.

“I did, I swear it! He just wanted to make a grant entrance, I think.”

A roar of a beast blared through the forest at that very moment, followed by a whine that Entrapta had come to recognize as the sound of a beastly animal dying. Seconds later, Hordak - her Hordak - came into view with his arm cannon loaded.

Hordak’s gaze found her immediately. He rushed towards Entrapta, and fell on his knees before he had even fully reached her. His grieves slid forwards in the slippery moss with a squelchy sound, thus closing in the remaining distance between him and the Princess. A wide smile of mixed incredulity, relief, and elation stretched the corners of his mouth as he cupped her head into his enormous palms, the ridiculous size difference giving it the effect of enclosing a golf ball between two tennis rackets. His massive fingers however began gentry stroking the soft skin of her cheeks, one thumb trailing down to fondle her lower lip.

“Ah, behold!” he ululated, tears of sheer joy brimming in his eyes. “Be it verily thee I espy afore me? Thy succulent form true and living, to my sore eyes balsam healing?” His hands slipped down from her face to feel and caress the length of her arms and midriff, as if verifying the tangibility of her body. “Oh, thou art corporeal; not a specter of yesteryear! Thy mellisonant voice honeyed ambrosia in the ears of mine, the radiance of thy skin in sooth beyond divine!” He lifted his face dramatically towards the heavens and closed his eyes, as his deep, rich, and melodious baritone continued the jeremiad that gradually transitioned and burgeoned into a bucolic ode.

“Alas! Woebegone and shuddering, my crepuscular heart the grim paths of the netherworlds roamed! The stygian waters of the river of death greedily at the narrow passage licked, malevolent rocks jagged the very essence of my heart with every step rived! A traitor I had deemed thee: a deserter of my dominion and desire, a siren silver-tongued! Thus had my ailing hope languished and utterly perished, e’en the ghostly glow of its last embers extinguished! Now, the ghastly sepultures of elderdays it haunted, its ashen wraith within decaying, cobwebbed skulls lurking, nevermore to behold the light of the day! Yet lo, after eons unfathomable, the ponderous grayness of the grave-slab was lifted, and a shaft of illumination into the darkness of the ever-tomb nigh impenetrable peered! What be this rare and radiant maiden, from whom this blessing issued, aglow with such effulgence as to smite asunder the shackles of death? Ah, my sweet Entrapta: gloriously coruscating and awash with life, ‘twas thee! Ne’er a treasonist, but hideously as one staged!”

He reopened his eyes, and grasped both of her hands into his own, his broad paws swallowing half of her forearms at the same time. “O my cherished sylvan nymph embellished with the flowers of brilliance, how I adore thee! Now reborn and exalted, this heart of mine frolics and capers upon sunshine-washed meadows at the beauteous sight of-”

The thunder of a hundred trees falling to the ground all at once interrupted Hordak as Grumpy Hordak’s right hand shot out and sent a shockwave of magic that obliterated everything in its way. “Oh, shut up, you sentimental pestilence! If I have to listen anymore to this pathetic, Shakespearean lovey-dovey nonsense, I will kill both of you who put the name Hordak to shame, along with your puny little gremlins, and bring Entrapta back to my own reality.”

“He doesn’t have an Entrapta.” She whispered to her own Hordak who hummed in sympathy. Then he seemed to remember what he was doing before he was interrupted, but instead of continuing his lengthy exultation - one he’d prepared on their way to the island to distract him from acknowledging that he was in fact being transported by the other Hordak who had transformed into a boat with his face plastered on the bow like a literal figurehead - he grabbed Entrapta by the waist and pulled her up against his much larger frame.

“I love you, Entrapta. Can you forgive me for doubting your trust?”

“I can and I will and I love you too! Isn’t that just so exciting?” Hordak smiled at her happy giggling before grabbing her chin with his free hand and crushing his mouth to hers in a passionate kiss that they’d both yearned for in many, many months. She responded eagerly and practically climbed her beloved to gain better access, wrapping her hair and legs around his body.

One Imp made a gagging noise and the other one copied it while the two other Hordaks became wildly uncomfortable by the public display. Grumpy Hordak made a sound best described as a growling snort which drew the Imps’ attention to him. They looked at each other with mischief and promptly flew over to him, one of them shapeshifting to a Cupid-like figure with a bow and arrows that shot little hearts at him while the other parroted something he’d mistakenly chosen to use moments before. >> _Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey_ << The Imps mockingly circled him in the air, delighting in their antics.

Claws extended and charged at the small creatures, giving none of them had time to move before Grumpy Hordak’s oversized talons - which almost resembled pitchforks - had pinned the Imps to a tree. He bent forward until his disgruntled face was centimeters from them with his eyebrow-ears lowering around their heads, so they were trapped in a dark cocoon with nothing but his red eyes and snarling mouth. “Do you two want to learn why I myself no longer have an Imp?”

They both screeched with panic. Entrapta who had stopped making out with her own Hordak when they heard the commotion tapped Grumpy Hordak’s back with a tendril of hair. The gritty overlord lifted his head, thereby freeing the Imps’ terrified little face, and looked back at her with a grunt. “Hey, let them go, why dontcha? They’re just kids.”

Another growling scoff left him. “They’re abominations of the worst kind and they deser-” An eruption of hair lifted Entrapta into the air until she towered above him while thinner strands snaked around his arms and hands, calmly but forcibly pulling them away from the Imps. Once freed they both flew directly up to Entrapta and hid in the hair down her back.

Grumpy Hordak’s lips twitched, almost baring his teeth with fury as he tried to stare Entrapta down. But his eyes softened slightly and his claws retracted. He nodded in acceptance. Old Hordak began to laugh in an awful series of snorts. “Lighten up, boy!” He reached out to clap Grumpy Hordak’s back, but one look at him made him pull back his hand.

“Now can we please destroy this damned island already?” Grumpy Hordak directed his attention once more to Entrapta who was back in the arms of her own Hordak. The Imps seemed to scutter between her hair and the kinder Hordak’s cape.

“Sure! I could use a little release!” Entrapta cackled, eyes lit with excitement and her hair fizzing out to all sides. She grinned at the other Hordaks who appeared to enjoy her happiness as much as her own Hordak did.

But he felt bewildered, still trying to adjust to having two of his parallel selves present and feeling a little jealous at Grumpy Hordak. He should find his own Entrapta instead of looking at _his_ purple-haired princess like that. “We’re destroying the island? Why?” He pulled Entrapta closer to him in a possessive gesture that she seemed to enjoy, her hair winding around his limbs. The two Imps had decided to sit on his shoulders, presumably because it was a more stable place than Entrapta’s ever-moving hair.

“Well, Entrapta deserves it, obviously!” Old Hordak grunted and shot her a Creepy Old Man smile. Well, at least there was no competition there, this reality's Hordak figured.

“And I need to kill something and since it can’t be this loathsome planet, the island has to make do.” Grumpy Hordak was conjuring up a ball of magic and the other Hordaks turned on their arms cannons. Entrapta looked at them in envy.

“Aw, I don’t have a weapon. I mean I have my hair, but you know how I like heavy tech.” She glanced up at her Hordak with wide eyes and a pouting mouth.

He grinned in delight at her, an odd look on his face. “I do. Which is why I brought along someone. Try calling her.” Entrapta squealed and yelled Emily’s name so loudly that every Hordak cringed, especially the one she was standing next to.

Beeps began to echo in the distance, then closer and closer until Emily came wobbling on her three legs out of the jungle and ran directly into Entrapta’s arm-shaped twin tendrils of hair. She beeped excitedly while Entrapta talked so fast and in an other-worldly high pitch that it was impossible for the alien men to understand any of it. Suddenly, she whipped around to her Hordak. “You upgraded her arsenal system?”

“Is it to your liking?” He asked nervously. Entrapta was so fond of the bot, but both him and Emily had thought she might like the additions. He hadn’t fixed the wobbly leg though; he’d grown fond of it too.

“Of course I do!” She jumped up and down with glee and Emily attempted to do the same. Even the Imps joined in. It was a strange and adorable scene. All the Hordaks thought so, although none of them would admit to it. “Can we kill something now? Can we? Please!”

“Yes!” The Hordaks responded at the same time, much to their chagrin. Entrapta didn’t notice. She’d hoisted herself onto Emily and commanded her to load every weapon. The Imps found their place once more on the shoulders of this reality’s Hordak. Grumpy Hordak extended his claws of his hands, burgundy fogs of magic already whirling in his palms. And Old Hordak’s legs transformed into a wheel which seemed unwise in a jungle, but no one cared to say anything.

“Let’s go!” Entrapta and Emily charged forward, blasting through trees, neon-colored vines and beasts with the Hordaks at her sides.

And soon all that had contributed to Beast Island's name and reputation was no more.

* * *

**Epilogue**

Micah crawled out of the small crevice he'd found in one of the rocks as he’d fled the mayhem. Taking care not to get spotted, he sneaked a peek at the peculiar group of… people who were gathered around a giant bonfire composed of monstrous animals and the last of the malicious vines - the ones he’d fought for years - which spluttered with neon goo as they appeared to burst in the flames.

The group had burned the island to the ground in no more than two hours, leaving only rocks and fallen charred trees behind. They had not used normal fire, but weapons with advanced lasers and dark magic; darker than any Micah had seen that fateful day with Light Spinner. Although the group had been wrecking havoc to the terrible island he’d been exiled to and lived on for years, Micah had been petrified by their careless destruction and had chosen to hide.

They had settled now, setting aside their weapons and withdrawing their evil magic; it made Micah braver.

He recognized one in the group as Lord Hordak, leader of the Evil Horde. His visage was burned into King Micah's mind as the person who had condemned him to die on this cursed island. Along with him was the little, devilish creature he’d seen on Hordak’s shoulder. Except there were now two. They weren’t quite the same - one much uglier than the other - but clearly similar.

Then there was a smaller man… or person. His appearance in some ways resembled Lord Hordak's, but more beastly and unpleasant. He almost looked like one of those cheap action figures Micah had hidden in his room at Mysticor when he lived there during his childhood. This person had a wheel instead of legs and some kind of blowing machine on his arm when Micah had first seen him, but now he appeared to have both legs and two regular arms.

The most frightening of the group was the Sorcerer. He appeared to be the only one with magic, wielding it with more finesse and skill than anyone Micah had ever seen or heard about. All the more chilling was it that this warlock was burning with rage. The others had seemed to merely enjoy the activity of tearing the island apart, but this one… He was prepared to annihilate them all. However, right now he had his grotesque claws extended and used them to roast something over the open fire. Were those marshmallows?

He did recognize the last one of the group, not counting the robot she’d been sitting on during most of the carnage. It was the woman he’d seen around the island for months, proficient in both surviving the island's terrors and stealing Micah’s food. He held no ill will towards her though. She reminded him so much of the weird little Princess of Dryl, but it wasn’t possible. Princess Entrapta couldn’t be more than 16 years old by now and that tiny woman among the three despicable men was definitely not a teenager. It would be idiotic to claim that she was younger than 25 years old, even as beautiful as she was. 

King Micah was so caught up in dissecting every detail about the group that he didn’t even notice one of them missing. Suddenly he was scooped up, wheeled directly into the half circle around the fire and disposed of there. He turned to see a blue moving trolly with a pig’s face until it turned into a flying devil in a burst of smoke.

There was no time to think more on that. He was surrounded by the most vile people he’d ever come into contact with and they were all looking at him - a dark sea of red, yellow or magenta eyes.

“Marshmallow?” Asked the purple-haired woman. Her prehensile hair gripped one of the Sorcerer’s hands and pulled the long talons with spiked marshmallows up in offering to Micah; he took one to be polite. But it smelled so good that he had to taste it and soon he'd eaten all the marshmallows from the claws of that hand.

“Thank you,” he said awkwardly to the Sorcerer who responded with a gruff nod before allowing tendrils of hair apply more marshmallows to his claws. To Micah’s embarrassment he discovered remains of the melted sugary substance in his long beard. “Ah, I apologize. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a barber, I’m afraid.”

“Allow me,” said the old action figure-like man and snapped his fingers at the pig-nosed gremlin. It turned into a pair of scissors and before Micah could stop it, the scissors had cut off most of his beard in a few snips. Then it turned into a mirror to show him how it looked; it was actually quite stylish. When he looked back at the old man to ask him to thank the little shapeshifter, he was instead faced with a cannon of some sort. Micah raised his arms to protect himself from the inevitable blast, but lowered them again when he heard a whirring sound. The old man appeared to be... vacuuming the hair away. When he saw Micah looking in confusion, he shrugged. “What? I like to clean.”

Completely perplexed, Micah mumbled a thank you and turned to Lord Hordak; at least he knew what to expect with the nefarious warlord. But Lord Hordak, the Scourge of Etheria, was busy staring into the eyes of the purple-haired woman, holding her hands in his massive ones and whispering sweet nothings: 

"Lo, how I fain behold thy sublime bosom heaving; hills lush, undulating, upon the resplendent vista of thy quintessence! Fruits plump and ripe, mellifluous; their silken smoothness beyond scrumptious! Howe’er I yearn to caress thy beatific lineaments with my lips, feel the sublime lissomeness of thy delectable hips! Luscious hair overbrimming thy form akin to a lavender waterfall; ruby eyes scintillating forest-pools, unfathomable to all-"

The large round robot pulled Micah's attention away from the baffling yet almost romantic scene that had captivated him when the bot blocked his view as it tottered in between him and the woman. It beeped a few times at him as though it was scolding him, then settled down to rest - or recharge? - beside him.

King Micah didn’t know what to do. In the end he leaned back on his elbows and watched the fire like the others, taking a marshmallow when offered by the vicious Sorcerer and listening to the old man talk about ‘his Entrapta’; slowly, he came to the conclusion that the purple-haired woman was in fact Princess Entrapta of Dryl - all grown up - and that he really had to find his way back to Bright Moon.

  
Due to the easy atmosphere among the gathered, he barely felt any discomfort as he asked them an important question, especially after the damage they’d done to the island that had been his forced-upon home for more years than he’d imagined: “So… Can I catch a ride with you guys back to the mainland?”

Luckily, he could.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this silly story! It was written with laughter and love.
> 
> I (and KuuraKaihomieli) would love hear what you thought of it, so leave a comment below and maybe Grumpy Hordak will get his very own Entrapta.


End file.
